Calling Time at the Celestial Watering Hole


Archangel Uriel's message did have us puzzled when we received it back in July 2009, so we immediately sent it to Matt, a dear friend of ours, who knows his way around occult matters, and he promptly came back with a thorough analysis.


Humour is a great way to help overcome difficult situations, something we used ourselves as we were dealing with our own Steiner experience, so we really appreciated his takedown, and we hope you will too, although if you’re easily offended, perhaps you shouldn’t read any further...




Just had a few thoughts about the arch angel stuff. I didn't have any access to the higher realms, just the local social club where Dai Dali Lama, Arch Angel Gabriel (who, if he keeps banging on about obscure African rhythms with his beer mat and asking everyone to get native in the middle of karaoke is going to get severely twatted), Arch Angel Michael the milk (who moans about quotas and European union shite), and Arch Angel Raphael (the painter and decorator whose got some fetish about fucking dado rails and fucked up fresco's) were concerned about Arch Angel Uriel (who is their fourth cousin twice removed.... something about auntie Blodwyn, a sheep, a bag of confectionery and too much gin).


Jesus did pop in, but he just got pissed and mumbled something about a cross and that he is not as popular as Mohamed and that he never wins the bingo. Confusing oriental guy had something profound to say but it was a little over our heads so I can't give you his response.


We pissed ourselves mightily at the nobody can win bit, because it is not about winning it is about being loving, caring, compassionate and acting accordingly...... there is no winning..... they missed the right and wrong bit out of it all. Everyone concurred that celestial woes were a big bag of bollocks and without access to sufficient quantities of alcohol could be seen as being of greater import than they actually were.


A couple of the vengeful Gods stepped in and came up with some very creative ideas about retribution for being wrong, hurting people and fucking up a child's experience of the world.


When we mentioned God, Jesus got all excited and said do you mean Yahweh my dad, Vishnu chucked a double vodka in his cider and black and fortunately ended the monotheistic debate which was good because we were beating the Buddhas at dominoes ( they got too many arms some of them Buddhas you've really got to watch them cos they cheat like fuck).


As for the higher good............. Dai Lee Salassi (the dog trainer) had some amazing grass that he shared admirably, and helped everyone get over the one god thing. A female deity (who can't be mentioned for legal reasons as she has a restraining order on her for protecting children who were experiencing pain and grief) did offer out any man in the place who thought that God was a male entity and not a female one.


The which side of the street bit set the oriental guy off....... telling hundreds of  Why did the chicken cross the road jokes (until we laced his sparkling urine water with morphine that is). Most of us agreed that Baker Street was a shit song and that if you are going to have a debate then work out which side of the street you are on.


Interesting that SPIRIT has chosen to TARGET the school.... we are now enjoying the use of upper case letters to emphasise an aggressive and overbearing psycho fuckwit mentality. It is a shame that SPIRIT didn't try and embrace every individual without judgement and bathe them in celestial light, instead of casting a shadow of ignorance, blame, guilt and negative energy.


SPIRIT will also not sit back and let people defend the rights of those they love as SPIRIT prefers silence.......... when it condones an abusive system. Who the fuck is this spirit?


As for light workers....... these people crawl round on their bellies in desperation and gloom, clutching at straws of deceit their eyelids leaden with the weight of their own personal shit. Dai Dali Lama says they couldn't see the sheep for the sheep shaggers.


What a piss poor misguided Uriel user...... the other Arch Angels were not impressed....... Arch Angel Gabriel is already cutting an album about the LIGHT PLAN which involves a Latvian spoon player, a Kurdish cheese grater, a bongo player from Belarus and a Welsh harpoonist.


Lots of love to you all


Matt





The image of Uriel was taken from Wikipedia.






 
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